E22 – Scene Analysis with Kim Lark (video, show notes, transcript)
In this episode, Miss Catherine M.H. and V.E. Griffith discuss a scene from Kim Lark’s forthcoming third book in her Espers series.
Transcript at: https://revisionwizards.com/?p=2327
Miss Catherine MH 00:00:00
Welcome to the Revision Wizards podcast. I’m Miss Catherine M.H. And I am joined by my fellow mageling and co-host, VE Griffith. This is episode 22, and this time we’re doing a scene analysis with author Kim Lark, who’s working on her third book in her esper series. Pretty awesome series. This episode is sponsored by our amazing patrons who help us to build our podcast so we can help you make your editing and revision process better.
VE Griffith 00:00:28
Our patrons help us pay for transcripts for our shows that are available on the website and for better audio recording quality. So listening is a little easier on your ears. If you’d be willing to support the show for as little as a buck an episode, we have a bunch of neat benefits you can take advantage of, including a special podcast feed with extra content and personal updates, inside access as we collaborate on a Vella, the opportunity to ask questions for Ask the Editor episodes, professional editing, and more. You can find out everything you need to know at patreon.com/Revisionwizards. And with that, here we go with Kim. Okay, so here we are with author Kim Lark. Kim, if you could introduce yourself, tell us your name and your pronouns.
Kim Lark 00:01:13
Kim Lark. She her.
VE Griffith 00:01:14
Kim Lark 00:01:16
It’s written on just saying. I mean, granted, I forgot to add the she her when I was doing it.
VE Griffith 00:01:23
So we’re doing a scene analysis today. Is this from your ongoing series, book three, is that right?
Kim Lark 00:01:33
This is from ongoing series, book three, and it’s kind of the inciting incident for one of the characters. So it’s not quite the beginning of the book, but it’s okay.
VE Griffith 00:01:46
So full disclosure for anybody listening. Book one has been published, and Catherine and I have read book two, and it is coming soon. So now we’re working together on book three. Generally speaking, what would I need to know about this scene going into it? What’s happened before without spoiling both books? What’s the set up here?
Kim Lark 00:02:06
So the set up here, without spoiling any of the books, is Danny, who is the protagonist of these series, has been sort of hunted by assassins. Cooper knows about this, and his goal is to stop this from happening because obviously assassin is bad, danny good, and she’s kind of sort of they have a friendship, we’ll put it that way. Try not to spoilers. Right, because I would spoil book one. I think that’s all you need. If I need to fill in more information, I will. But I think the balance here comes with the whole caveat of not spoiling. But there’s a lot that happened. As in any book, there’s a lot that happens in the book, and now it works.
VE Griffith 00:03:06
I understand. Yeah. Okay, Miss Catherine, as always, I’m going to make you start with characters.
Miss Catherine MH 00:03:13
Fine. All right, so let’s start with Cooper, who I should maybe say is like, police for this Sci-Fi book. So that’s like an important piece to this setup. Sci-fi verse.
Kim Lark 00:03:31
Miss Catherine MH 00:03:32
In this section, his voice matches his body. It sort of matches the emotional state. He’s doing a lot of the talking where he’s investigating. So you can see that he’s definitely portraying himself as I’m just chill, sit back like a cop would normally be. And then in his inner thoughts, you’re seeing him trying to figure out the little pieces that he can punch a hole in to get the information he wants. So I thought that that across the board was very cohesive. So he was pretty good on that one.
Miss Catherine MH 00:03:32
We have New Guy who is in the scene. Now, granted, I’ve read more about this person, so I know more about the person. But in this scene, you don’t really get to see too much of him. He’s just kind of off in the side. He is that definite side character who is in the scene. You just happen to know he’s there. You happen to know he kind of sucks at his job and that’s about it.
Miss Catherine MH 00:03:32
And then we have Guy. And without giving spoilers, because like I said, I know more Guy’s demeanor doesn’t match his voice in this, which is, I know what’s supposed to be happening. But as you’re reading through it, the reader is going to notice that something is definitely off with him. Even Cooper picks up that I mean, this isn’t how you’re normally acting the last few times I’ve acted. So in that sense, the reader is picking up that there’s something off. And I thought that that was enjoyable because you definitely know something is off. So VE back at you.
VE Griffith 00:05:35
Okay. The only thing that I had about character name is you may want to change the new guy’s name from New Guy to something like FNG Farky New Guy and use the acronym to distinguish him from the character Guy.
Kim Lark 00:05:54
I know that was no. Am I supposed to be keeping quiet till you’re done.
VE Griffith 00:05:54
No, you can go ahead.
Kim Lark 00:05:54
That was actually a question that I come up with because it’s Guy and Guy. And I think that gets very.
VE Griffith 00:05:54
It was confusing to me.
Kim Lark 00:05:54
But character wise, Cooper would call him a guy that’s his voice, so in the moment couldn’t come up with. He does need a different diminutive name. I don’t want Cooper to be accepting of this guy right away. I kind of want him to be because this guy is the new guy on the team replacing somebody who was important to him. And so he’s got this instant dislike of this person. And so I want that to come across I don’t want him to be accepting and friendly. So New Guy worked, but it works in every scene except for the ones Guy’s in because that gets very confusing. New Dude, it’s just not his verbiage. He wouldn’t use the word dude. You know, the character, maybe you think of something, but I will keep working that’s.
VE Griffith 00:07:14
Okay. Cooper seemed to me a little bit he’s in control of himself. He feels in control of the situation, but he still has a little bit of nerves because his relationship with Guy is fraught, shall we say. And that’s something that a reader of the third book would know, having come through two books. He’s physically healthy, but he’s definitely on alert for what’s going on. Guy also is wary because he doesn’t exactly know what to expect, and it’s not, he’s like, Why did you bring me here? What’s this about? And so he’s on alert again, because their relationship is what it is, and it’s fraught. But overall, I thought both of those characters came through loud and clear and are really good. All right, Miss Catherine, external pursuits for Cooper or for the protagonist? Who is the protagonist here?
Miss Catherine MH 00:08:15
Cooper. So this one is a hard one for me because having read earlier stuff, this feels like a continuation of a different conflict that had been happening. But if I’m looking at just this chapter, it’s really like he wants to hack Guy? That’s where my question mark is. I’m not 100% sure if that’s what he wants or if what he wants is to actually talk to him. So it’s like it’s a mixture between those two. And that’s just because this chapter follows so closely after one that’s already, like, leading into this one. What did you think it was?
VE Griffith 00:09:02
I thought that his external pursuit was that he wants some kind of intel from Guy. That much is pretty obvious. Whether Guy spills it in a moment of candor or if it comes from the hacking, I think that he doesn’t care much one way or the other. He wants the information that he wants, and how he’s going to get it is less relevant to him, which is why he was quick enough to blow off New Guy. As we got into the scene, I rated the presentation of his external pursuits as good. As I’ve said, I haven’t read any of the rest of book three like Miss Catherine has, so depending on how it’s set up prior how it’s resolved later, this could be excellent. I have no problem believing that. And Kim, you’re a strong enough writer to definitely make this excellent. The only thing that was unclear to me is exactly what information Cooper is looking for, and that may be because it’s explained earlier and I didn’t read it, or it’s explained later and we don’t know it, or maybe he doesn’t know any of those are possible, and any of those are fine. It’s like, I’m looking for something, but I’m not sure what it is. I don’t know what I don’t know again, because I’m only looking at the single scene, but he is focused on getting what he needs. He’s willing to both hack and manipulate Guy to get it, hack him electronically and to manipulate him emotionally. He has absolutely no scruples about that, and I think that that’s perfectly within character. But because I don’t know what he’s looking for. I can’t see if he got it or not.
Miss Catherine MH 00:10:29
So his internal desires oh, go ahead.
VE Griffith 00:10:32
Well, I was going to ask him if she had any input.
Kim Lark 00:10:37
No, I don’t, really, because I think what I’m enjoying in this discussion is the fact that we’ve got one person who really knows what’s going on and what’s happened, and what’s going to happen. Then. Your perspective, Aaron, is, I think, in some ways more telling for me of whether the scene works or not, because you don’t know. So it’s really useful, and I appreciate it, but do I have anything to add without spoiling it for you? No. But I do find when we have these conversations, that every time you point something out, I’m like, great, I did that right. Because the questions that are coming up for you are the questions.
VE Griffith 00:11:24
Okay, good. That’s excellent. You’re a very strong writer, and that tells me that my faith in you is not misplaced. Okay.
Kim Lark 00:11:24
VE Griffith 00:11:24
Miss. Catherine? Internal desires.
Miss Catherine MH 00:11:38
So, for the internal desires, I definitely see that he wants to protect Danny. Like, that is still a very forefront piece besides his other desire. And it’s there I marked it as excellent because it’s clear, his internal his external dialogue, it states that he wants to protect Danny. That is why he’s having this conversation. It’s why stuff happens. He’s in this mindset of listening to a second brain.
Kim Lark 00:12:17
And for people listening Catherine’s innuendos here that keep making me laugh. Just so that you know, this series is romance, and it’s a very slow burn, and that’s not a spoiler, really, at all. But his other desire is very slow burn.
Miss Catherine MH 00:12:17
VE Griffith 00:12:43
Frustratingly slow, some might say.
Miss Catherine MH 00:12:45
I wouldn’t say so. It’s fun to watch.
VE Griffith 00:12:50
Cooper might. Anyway, for me, internal desires, I rated him as excellent. It’s clear to me what he wants. It’s clear that he’s working his hardest to make it happen. He isn’t sure how to make that happen, and that’s what the story is about. So it’s fine that he doesn’t know which way he’s going yet. I think, overall, that protagonist internal desires are very clear and very good antagonist external pursuits. Ms. Catherine.
Miss Catherine MH 00:13:16
Of course, you’re going to hand it back over to me.
VE Griffith 00:13:17
Miss Catherine MH 00:13:18
So there’s two for here. One, because we’ve read book one and two, so we kind of know a bit more about Guy in the sense, because Guy kind of is the antagonist in this scene, is how I’m seeing it. So one is that he just wants stuff to just stop. He’s like, I’m done dealing with all of this, and I just want a vacation. That is what I want. I want a vacation on a quiet beach, no one bothering me, nothing around. And then the other one is that he doesn’t really realize that he wants it, but he wants to make a choice. Please make a choice. So those are my two, because it really does battle it out. And we see more of the choice one in this chapter. We know from him that he definitely wants a break, but in this you can see him struggling with the law of his culture and that choice that he’s got to make. So he wants to make a choice. He just won’t or doesn’t or something.
VE Griffith 00:14:42
And it drives me crazy. He’s been doing this for three books now, and this is why I hate him. And I’ve made no secret to Miss Catherine and to Kim that I absolutely hate Guy. Yeah, exactly. It’s clear to me that he’s torn about having to walk a knife’s edge between his father and his sister. But he’s going to have to make a decision at some point, because one of them is going to get killed. And it’s going to wind up being his choice about which one it is, if not which one it is, which way he’s going to push and who he’s going to be shooting at. So his incapability of making a decision, I think, is revealing about his character. He puts the fun in dysfunctional. It’s like, Dude, get some therapy and figure it out.
Miss Catherine MH 00:15:42
He still is one of my favorite characters, though. Like, I absolutely love him.
VE Griffith 00:15:45
But I rated the portrayal of his external pursuit is fair only because I don’t see the rest of the book. It’s only about this scene and because I still don’t understand. I mean, I understand sort of his cultural and legal obligations that he feels, but I don’t see why he’s so incapable of making a decision. It seems like after two and a half books, he should have a clearer sense of himself, and he does not.
Kim Lark 00:16:23
So I would say that his indecision is more like his need to make a choice is a need, not a want. So it’s not really his external want so much as his internal need. He needs to make a choice. He doesn’t necessarily want to. That’s kind of where he stands. He doesn’t want to make a choice.
VE Griffith 00:16:45
Well, that’s true. And in some ways you wind up with external wants and internal needs getting mixed up, and that there’s some of both here. In terms of his internal desires, it’s real clear that, again, he’s trying to walk the knife’s edge, but that he’s unable to make a firm choice and implement it for the past two and a half books now. So that’s kind of where I’m at.
Miss Catherine MH 00:17:17
See, and so I’ll pick up with the internal part for me was that he needs help. Like, he’s always trying to do this on his own. He has brothers, he has sister, he has support, but he’s never using them. And I think that’s where to me, he wants to make a choice of something, but he needs some kind of help to get there. And with his deteriorating health, that help is becoming more and more critical that he was to get. So I feel like that’s why I chose his external, was like, he does want to make a choice. Like, he’s even talking about making choices. Cooper is talking to him, being like, dude, when are you going to make one? And it’s just he needs something more. So he like, he needs that help. And that’s what I’m that’s what I had picked for his internal desire was that he needs help, and that’s why he can’t make that decision. He needs just that one last push of something to make the decision.
VE Griffith 00:18:31
Okay. I thought the conflict in this one was excellent. The conflict that I found was basically a contest of wills between the two of them. Who’s going to break first? The choice for both of them is what to reveal, what to keep secret. And I found that contest of wills to be very entertaining to read because they’re both really good at what they do. They are street smart, and they both have firm objectives in mind in terms of what they’re trying to do in this scene.
Miss Catherine MH 00:19:09
And as always, I saw a different conflict. So I do know that this is also a pickup of the other chapter. So for that section, I rated that as fair because we know that conflict is being carried over to this chapter. But if I’m just looking at this chapter, I marked it as good. And the conflict is the guy finally notices that he’s being hacked. That sets off, I think, for me, the conflict of this part of the chapter where he’s like, yeah, stop that. That’s enough of that. So for me, that was the conflict.
VE Griffith 00:19:50
What do you think, Kim?
Kim Lark 00:19:54
I think you’re both right. I think there’s more than one conflict in this scene. There’s sort of layers of conflict going on. So sort of on a more surface level. Yeah, the hacking is absolutely the sort of more surface level conflict. And then if you go a layer deeper, you’re getting into that internal tension between the two of them with its subtext of their history together as well.
Miss Catherine MH 00:20:20
You do a great job layering conflicts.
VE Griffith 00:20:24
Yes, I agree with that. I thought here choice is sort of best bad choice because we don’t really know that we can trust the other character. Both of them face the same choice again, just like they face the same conflict, which is how much to trust the other guy and how much to reveal, because they both have secrets, but they both have an interest in protecting Danny. Even if Guy’s is dysfunctional and fucked up. They could be on the same team here, but we’re back to Guy won’t make a decision and play along.
Kim Lark 00:21:07
They could still be on the same team.
VE Griffith 00:21:09
It is sad. It’s very frustrating for I’m sure it’s frustrating for Guy, but in a way, it’s frustrating for the reader because and that may again be exactly what you want. At this point in the book, it would seem obvious to me that if you have your choice between a murderous father and your sister, who are you going to pick? And most people would not pick the murderer. So that leads me again to question his sanity and his mental health. Ms. Catherine. What about choice?
Miss Catherine MH 00:21:43
Oh, man. We have very different ideas. I thought, okay, I can’t pronounce this word, but I thought it was the best good choice.
VE Griffith 00:21:50
Miss Catherine MH 00:21:52
His choice is to either offer an olive branch and open up to Guy or let him walk away. Both are good options for Cooper because of the past, where Guy is kind of iffy to be around, and because offering an olive branch is a way to also gain insight in somewhere that he’s not able to get into. So in this, I thought it was really good that he chose to offer to open up and to offer the olive branch because it really shows that he’s trusting Danny more. So it’s showing their relationship a bit more where he’s like, Danny trusts you, I trust Danny. If I open up and we talk about some of these really deep things, then maybe I can start pulling you this way. Because he’s realizing, and literally the conversation part of it is you need to make a choice. This is a needed to happen. Even though I feel like Guy has already actually made a choice. So that’s where I differ from VE. He’s already made his choice. He’s just pretending he hasn’t made his choice.
Kim Lark 00:23:19
And he’s so made the wrong choice.
Miss Catherine MH 00:23:21
Yeah, and I’ve seen this from book one, too, is that geese made his choice. He just likes to pretend he hasn’t. And anytime he’s given the opportunity to change his choice, he pretends he’s dancing a line. He is very delusional on that side. But for Cooper, I thought this was irreconcilable good, because he could do either one, like letting him walk away. Cool. I didn’t lose any extra information that I didn’t already have. I stay and I open up, I possibly gain an ally. So I thought it was good.
VE Griffith 00:24:08
Where are we at with it? Kim?
Kim Lark 00:24:12
So my thinking on the choice of this is it’s really a set up for the next scene. And so I suppose we’re leaving with a question, an undecided choice in many ways, and it’s sort of what is Cooper going to decide to do based on what Guy suggests?
VE Griffith 00:24:33
I see the open end there, but in terms of this scene, I did see a consequence. And the consequence is that they sort of establish it’s not a friendship. They are not on the same team, they do not like each other, but they do have a detente. They have an agreement not to shoot at each other right this second. And I thought that that was excellent, because I can easily see this conversation going the other way, where Cooper comes in with this information because of the testing that he didn’t have permission to do, I’m withholding a spoiler, and that could have gone disastrously wrong. So in terms of the choice of figuring out how much to trust or how much information to share, the consequence of his decision to share that information is this sort of detente. And I thought that that was excellent. I see that there are open loops for the next scenes, and that’s fine because we’re not at the end of the book yet, so obviously they’re going to be open loops, but from this scene, that consequence of their movement. I wouldn’t say improvement, but movement in their relationship is clear.
Miss Catherine MH 00:25:45
Yeah, and I definitely agree with that because that was what one of my consequences are. And I marked it as fair because I was like, you see this? It was pretty obvious. Either they’re going to blow up at each other or they’re going to leave with like, yeah, I’ll kill you a different day. That’ll be great. But for right now, we can sort of work together kind of maybe, sure. So I saw that, but because of the way you’ve written these, I want to say it’s like these three chapters that I really saw this as leading up to the excellent consequence that I know happens later. And when you read that chapter, this chapter’s consequence, you’re like, oh, my God, that was a great chapter because it led up to this. So you can see that it’s building to something more and that there is a consequence, and I wouldn’t really call it a choice that Cooper’s making. He’s kind of made that choice just like, he was trying to walk a line where he really thought he had a choice. He already made his choice. He just wanted the permission to do it. And even if that permission comes from the dude who you don’t quite trust, but you have already decided you were going to do it anyway, and then they’re like, yeah, go do it. And you’re like, yeah, why not? So I feel like it led really well because that first chapter, which I think is the scene right before this, really built up that conflict that led to this choice of them having the conversation and then leads to that consequence. So I thought in that sense, it’s an excellent build up to the other piece. If we’re just looking at they got information from each other and they’re agreeing to not shoot each other for a little bit, then that was fair.
VE Griffith 00:27:49
All right, where were we at on showing versus telling?
Miss Catherine MH 00:27:52
I thought it was good. I didn’t really see much that bothered me. But then again, I’m also the person who doesn’t pick up on as much of the showing versus telling all the time. But in this sense, I think the only thing I would add is maybe a little bit more of Cooper’s confusion as to who Guy is talking to or glancing around might just trigger the reader to understand that piece that I know that I also don’t want to give spoilers to.
Kim Lark 00:28:34
What about that altogether?
VE Griffith 00:28:37
I thought showing versus telling here was excellent. This is a really dialogue heavy scene. I always love dialogue because it gives us a window into character voice. We do have some of we’re in Cooper’s point of view, we have a fair amount of his thinking. I would like, on reflection, I think that Ms. Catherine is right. We could do with a little more confusion from him about who the hell Guy is talking to. And looking at this empty chair, I was not confused enough to stop reading, but I thought, okay, for like, half a second. Okay, do we have an invisibility thing here? Oh, no. Now I know what’s going on, and I don’t want to spoil that either, but there’s a firm explanation for what’s going on with Guy and why he’s talking to people. But that would confuse Cooper in the moment. But overall, I thought that this was excellent. There were not long passages of exposition, there were not tells. It was just really good. My comments on this one are super light. It’s become evident to me that Kim is a much better writer now than she was when I read book one.
Kim Lark 00:28:37
VE Griffith 00:28:37
Kim. Do you have anything to add.
Kim Lark 00:29:55
Without spoilers? No, but I have been contemplating just taking out that tiny section where he’s clearly not talking to somebody who isn’t there and removing that, because I think I want to delay that a little bit longer in this book so that the reader is not savvy at all to what’s going on yet. I may just remove some piece.
VE Griffith 00:30:19
Okay, well, remember, you did leave a breadcrumb about it at the end of book two.
Kim Lark 00:30:25
And that’s okay that there’s breadcrumbs about it, but I think this breadcrumb is too much too soon because of who he’s talking to, which will get revealed yeah.
VE Griffith 00:30:36
That I didn’t know was who he was talking to, so that was fine. Okay. In terms of passive voice, because this is so dialogue heavy, there’s basically none. I didn’t notice any of my favorite words. I won’t mention them because if you’ve been listening to the podcast, you know them.
Kim Lark 00:30:36
There was no was in there!
VE Griffith 00:30:36
And if there was, it was not jarring to me, and I’m very sensitive to them. This was anyway, God, what am I going to do with you, too.
Kim Lark 00:31:12
Have to go back and listen to your whole podcast and just like, Mark, how many times you say the word was. Call you out every time.
VE Griffith 00:31:18
Yes. We have transcripts available at revisionwizards.com, and I should go highlight those words in red.
Kim Lark 00:31:29
Because people use that word.
VE Griffith 00:31:31
I know, and I don’t say to be clear, I don’t say that you must excise it completely from your vocabulary, but if you can reduce its use. It helps.
Miss Catherine MH 00:31:41
Well, sometimes in order to say something, you need to use was.
VE Griffith 00:31:47
Oh, God. There she goes. God, she did that intentionally.
Kim Lark 00:31:55
Sometimes things just are, Aaron. They just are. You need to be. To be.
VE Griffith 00:32:02
No, Kim. What you may have missed was that she used in order to, which is another one of my nemesis. Okay, anyway, back to the topic. Ms. Catherine, what did you think of the passive voice in this one?
Miss Catherine MH 00:32:18
So I marked it as excellent. But that’s also because I don’t mind passive voice. So unless it’s really in my face, I’m not going to notice passive voice like you do. So for me, it was excellent. If it was there, whatever. I didn’t notice it like it wasn’t in my face. So good job. If I see the was, okay. If I see had? Sure. But we’re also talking in dialogue, and people use passive when we talk. So I thought it was excellent. I didn’t see it. My thing is, I couldn’t find anything wrong with it. Actually, I have to add the word it, but other than that, that’s what I said.
VE Griffith 00:32:59
How does that make you feel, Kim? Good. Okay, Ms. Catherine. The last section. Sentence structure.
Miss Catherine MH 00:33:18
Yes. So, ironically, I marked this as fair and because it’s confusing to me, the inner thoughts. So I’m one of those readers who really likes when inner thoughts are italicized. And that’s because if all of a sudden I’m realizing I’m reading an inner thought, then I have to go all the way back to wherever the beginning of this sentence or this paragraph is to figure out how much of this was inner thought or not. Because you have them right in the same paragraph with stuff, and I’m thinking, this is the paragraph. And then it’s suddenly like, Oop, no. What was inner thought? Was this all inner thought? Was it not inner thought? Was it just the sentence? So for me, that part is confusing and will automatically throw me out of any book that does it. I hate when books don’t have italicized for inner thoughts, because in my brain, it automatically clicks to this is inner thought. There’s nothing that throws me out by seeing italics in a book. I know that it’s because your software likes to mess up the italics, but I just feel like the sentence structure then needs to be different so we realize that it’s the inner thought.
VE Griffith 00:34:38
I tend to agree with that. I marked the rest of it excellent, but I was also momentarily confused when we switched to inner thought from the remainder of the paragraph. Now, my solution to that, since I don’t like to use italics, except very sparingly in my own manuscripts, is I don’t italicize. I use dialogue tags, so I’ll do. God, she was pretty, comma, he thought. And that’s how I address that situation. And I know Ms. Catherine hates it, and I’m sorry. Too bad that’s. The way I learned to write. But I agree that and again, I understand the software issue coming out of Scrivener and Scrivener’s compile sucks.
Miss Catherine MH 00:35:15
It’s the devil.
VE Griffith 00:35:17
Oh, God. It sucks.
Kim Lark 00:35:22
Well, the issue I was having with Scrivener is I tend to work back and forth. I work on the phone app a lot. I will write at the supermarket. I’ll open up scrivener. Like, if I’m in line, I will literally every snatch of moment I can get. So I work out of this phone app a lot, and for some reason, when you italicize in the phone app, it doesn’t then translate into the desktop app. And so some things get italicized, some things don’t, and it seems to be random. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. So what I was finding is I was going back and reitalizing things over and over and over again, and it was so time consuming that I was like, screw the italics. I’m taking them all out. And then now we have this new problem, right? Which is, I too, see italics. Know it’s in her thought. I’m very comfortable with it. It doesn’t throw me out. I, too, hate comma, he thought. Comma, she thought. So I’m in a situation where I don’t want to do I would rather do italics. I don’t want to do the he thought, she thought, because I think that pulls you that distances you from that deep POV a bit. We lost Aaron. He’ll be back. Well, but I don’t want to distance people from that deep POV. I want to keep them really deep. So I don’t want the he thought, she thought. But I guess the only solution is going to be to go back through the mall and make sure the italics are in there, which is three books of having to check that because I’ve pulled all the italics out of books one and two, to be consistent.
Miss Catherine MH 00:37:11
I don’t mind helping you. I said I wouldn’t mind.
Kim Lark 00:37:16
Miss Catherine MH 00:37:16
Kim Lark 00:37:20
Reread all the books.
Miss Catherine MH 00:37:22
I could do that.
Kim Lark 00:37:25
At least it’s only three.
VE Griffith 00:37:26
Anyway, with respect to the rest of the rest of the manuscript, that was not italicized. I had absolutely no problems with it. I found a couple of stray spaces and a couple of backwards curly quotes, and that was it. I didn’t have.
Kim Lark 00:37:44
Like that all gets fixed when you do the formatting.
VE Griffith 00:37:47
You had a pair of them that were at the beginning of a paragraph, not at the end. So, in fact, it was minor. I get it. But really, I didn’t see any structural errors.
Miss Catherine MH 00:37:57
VE Griffith 00:37:58
Yes, I am. I didn’t see any structural errors. I didn’t really have any of those weird constructions where if you reverse the words, it works better. There was none of that. There were no stray commas. There were no really commas that were missing. I didn’t see any run on sentences. I didn’t see any comma splices, which I know you struggled with in the past. Yeah, exactly. It was really good. So, like I said, you’re a much better writer now.
Kim Lark 00:38:31
Now that I noticed them, though I still put comma splices everywhere. I think I speak in.
VE Griffith 00:38:36
Okay, well, there you go. That’s all I had.
Miss Catherine MH 00:38:41
It was a good read. I mean, I’m enjoying book three as it is. I’m excited to read the next section. I have it on my SuperNote to read. You’re definitely going to get more doodles on it because that was also fun because you had read to me a few of those chapters, and those are the chapters you got doodles on.
VE Griffith 00:39:02
Kim, do you have any parting thoughts?
Kim Lark 00:39:06
No. Thank you for doing this. I don’t, and I appreciate you taking.
VE Griffith 00:39:13
The time to I appreciate you giving us a shot at it. It’s been a lot of fun.
Kim Lark 00:39:21
VE Griffith 00:39:22
Okay. I’ll give you all the chat once you get them written, I’ll be happy to take a look at them. So where can we find you on the Internet?
Kim Lark 00:39:32
Nowhere. Kimlark.com is my website, and for the most part, that’s where I am. I’m going to be doing more of a presence on TikTok, but I don’t have much of one. But I’m Kim Lark. I think I’m either Kim Lark or Kim Lark. Author on TikTok I don’t remember what I set it up at. Everywhere online. I’m either Kim Lark or Kim Lark. Author.
VE Griffith 00:40:08
And what are your books called?
Kim Lark 00:40:12
So we have Esper’s Touch is the first one. Esper’s Secret is the second one. And I think this one’s Esper’s revenge. That’s working title. It is maybe subject to change, but the first two are First Touch and Espera’s Secret. And they’re getting rebranded.
VE Griffith 00:40:35
Yeah, because that was not the title that I remember.
Kim Lark 00:40:40
No new titles, new covers.
VE Griffith 00:40:43
Well, good. I’m looking forward to making you sign my first edition. I’ve got one right back here. We’ll just have to get together for dinner sometime, for sure.
Kim Lark 00:40:58
Well, your first edition is going to be very first edition because it’s, like, totally different. And the rebrand is also okay.
VE Griffith 00:41:05
Yeah, that’ll be helpful.
Kim Lark 00:41:08
Yeah. There was some reader feedback on the whoa. You immersed me into a language. Can you translate? And on my website, Wiki.kimlark.com has all the translations. It has a lot of the world building is in there if you want to play.
VE Griffith 00:41:26
Kim Lark 00:41:29
I need for myself, so I figured I’d make it available.
VE Griffith 00:41:36
We’ll leave everything in the show notes for everybody, and you all can click on through and take a look at her books. So thanks very much, guys. We will see you all next time.
Miss Catherine MH 00:41:47